Didn't mean to
by pamy
Summary: You never meant to hurt her. But you did. Duncan POV. One shot. Please review.


**This is from Duncan's POV. Please review. **

**Still don't own Veronica mars. **

* * *

You never meant for it to happen.

You never meant to leave her there alone. But you did. You wish there was something you could say. When you saw her that Monday your heart broke. You never meant for it to go this far. You never meant to kill the last part of Veronica that was left. You didn't mean to.

But you did. And you can't change it.

There are no apologies. NO words for leaving her there alone. No explanations. The only explanation you have is the one you hope she never finds out. She loves her dad. The knowledge that she might be your sister could kill her. She should never know. You know that if Lilly were here she would kill you for leaving her there alone.

But Lilly's isn't here.

You try to ignore the pain in here eyes. You try to ignore the way she matches Logan insult for insult. You try to ignore that you are the one that changed her. That took away the last part of Veronica that was left. You want to turn back the clock and get the innocent Veronica back. But you cant.

You never meant for it to happen. But it did.

* * *

You find her on the beach the next day.

You want to keep walking. You want to ignore her pain. You don't want to be reminded of what you did. You don't want to remind her. But as you walk past her you swear you see Lilly standing there. You swear her eyes plead you to talk to Veronica.

You know you are going crazy. Lilly is dead.

But you still turn around and walk back. Because you know. There is nobody left to take care of Veronica. This is not the kind of thing she would tell her dad. Lilly is dead. Logan is angry. And you are broken. There is nothing left. But Veronica deservers to be taken care of.

You sit down on the beach next to her.

You don't say a word. There is nothing to say. You can't find the right words. You know Lilly would have already found them. You know that. But she is not here. And Veronica is alone. You put your hand on her shoulder and she flinches. You never meant for her to be afraid of you. You never meant for this to happen.

You would never hurt her. But you did.

She cries. You realize you have never seen her cry like this. Even when Lilly died she was still the strong one. She cried but she held you up. Now she cries. She cries and she need somebody to hold her up or she will fall. There's nobody else. You wonder if Logan would do this if he were here now.

But you are not Logan. You are not Lilly. You are Duncan.

So you take her in your arms. And she cries. You don't know how long you sit there. You don't know who sees you there. You don't care either. Neither of you ever spoke. That night was never discussed. You held her in your arms and she cried. You both know this won't change a thing. Tomorrow at school things will still be the same.

But tonight she needs you. Tonight you need her. So you hold her. And she cries.

You never meant to hurt her like that.

* * *

When she shows up at your door almost a year later. When she asks you what happened that night. When she asks you if you raped her, you suddenly understand. She didn't remember. She thought somebody took this from her. You never meant for her to think that. You thought she knew. You thought she remembered.

You never meant for her to hurt like that.

But suddenly you are there in front of her. And you realize you have to tell her. Tell her why you couldn't be with her. But you can't. You don't want to see the hurt in her eyes. You don't want to be the one to hurt her even more. You don't want to be the one to kill that little part that is still left of the innocent Veronica. You don't want to destroy the only thing she has left.

But you have no choice.

'_Because you're my sister!'_

You see the pain in her eyes. You hear the pain in your voice. She starts to cry. And you want to hold her. Just like you did on the beach. But you can't. You can't help her. You can't protect her. You tried and you failed. You suddenly realize Lilly had been right. You should have told her in the beginning.

But you didn't.

'_Even after my mother told me, I tried to just cut you out of my life.'_

The words keep coming out. You can't stop them anymore. Now that you have finally started to tell her the truth she might as well know everything. She backs away from you. But it's not in fear. It's in pain. The same pain you're in.

You want to hold her. But you can't.

You don't hear the car. You don't hear the footsteps. You just keep going.

_I loved you! I tried not to, it tried not to, but it won't go away!'_

You never meant to tell her that. But you did. You love her. You can't stop. You look in here eyes and wonder if she loves you to. You're both crying. And for the first time you can't do anything to stop it. You can't protect her from the pain. You can't save her anymore. She runs away. A part of you wants to run after her. But you can't.

You feel weak. You're legs can't carry you. You sink down on you're knees.

You never meant to hurt her. But you did.

'


End file.
